Love is one of the most important emotions that humans experience (or the most important, if you ask us!), and yet we all express love for one another differently. This diversity is natural, of course, but it can lead to misunderstandings, especially in romantic relationships where emotions are generally more heightened already. When you fall in love with someone special, you may not see the same exhibition of your partner’s feelings for you as you have for him, and that can be confusing.
Knowing and understanding the various expressions of romantic love can not only help you find the right person, but make communicating with him a lot more straightforward. Read the following descriptions to discover what type of romantic you are:
- A Giver — Gift giving is a universal way of expressing love, according to Focus on the Family, a website dedicated to helping couples build healthy relationships. Humans innately understand that when you love someone, you tend to be more giving. This doesn’t always mean a physical gift like jewelry or flowers; it can be acts of self-sacrifice as well. While everyone enjoys receiving gifts, people who are the giving type find that this is their primary language of love. When they give, they are expressing the way they feel through that gift. If you have a difficult time verbalizing your love and prefer to demonstrate it with a token instead, you may have a giver personality.
- A Speaker — For some people, words come easily and they know just how to express what they are feeling at any given moment. If you can look your lover in the eye and tell them how excited, happy, and grateful you are to have them in your life, you might have a speaker personality. Speakers are most comfortable expressing their love and appreciation via the spoken word, so you’ll hear such things as “thank you,” “I love you,” and “wow, you look great” often.
- A Doer — A doer operates on the philosophy that actions speak louder than words, and is therefore more apt to show their love through acts of kindness and service. This is a more practical form of love, and many people who are this romantic personality type can find it challenging to express their feelings through other methods like words or gifts. If you enjoy packing a lunch for your loved one every day or voluntarily fix their leaky sink in order to show how much you care, you might be this kind of romantic.
- A Toucher — Touchers love to show their feelings with physical touch, whether sexual or not. This romantic personality type expresses their love through sexual intimacy, casual embraces, or even a hand on your shoulder as they pass behind you. If you love to cuddle with your lover, indulge in plenty of kissing, and hold hands, then you are likely a toucher. According to one of About.com‘s psychology experts, most couples begin this way, but a relationship based only on passion may peter out after about 6 to 12 months. However, for people of this personality type, intimate touch is essential to their love and they know how to keep it going well after the initial “honeymoon phase” tapers off.
- A Listener — For some people, love is truly expressed through quality time spent with their significant other. If you are a listener, you may prefer to have lengthy conversations, spend time with, and truly listen to your lover without the distractions of smart phones, TVs, and other people. A listener knows how to connect with the person whom they love and make them feel like the most important person in the world in that moment. A person who considers themselves this type of romantic will likely initiate conversations, plan intimate dates that allow them to connect, and enjoy many activities together. If you prefer this kind of quiet time with your honey, you’re probably a listener.
Perhaps you’ve always suspected that you were a giver but find yourself with a speaker. Don’t worry, it’s absolutely possible for two different romantic personalities to have a long, loving, and fulfilling relationship, as long as you understand one another.
If you know that he prefers to show his feelings through words, then reciprocate that approach. Be sure to tell him that you love him on a regular basis, and voice your appreciation when he does something nice for you. At the same time, let him understand how you like to be loved. Understanding, honesty, and open communication will help your romantic personalities combine, allowing your relationship to flourish well into the future.